May 26th, 2020 
Day # 75
12:27 pm 

You know, I did like the beginning of quarantine if I’m being completely honest. I kept a routine where I made myself busy, got some school work done, began working out again, and started up some of the long lost hobbies that disappeared once I entered High School. AP exams were online and open note, there was plenty of time for assignments, and everyone was learning to treasure those moments they had with their friends. My productivity didn’t last, however. 

The hermits and introverts were vibing in the beginning, but being trapped home with extroverts must be painful now. Athletes were eager to get back in shape for their spring season, but they’re probably sitting on the couch snacking right about now; regretting the fact that they ate an entire bag of Doritos the night before. Overachieving students maintained their drive while studying, but after AP season has ended they’re all sitting around thinking “what’s the point? We’re going to pass anyway”…unless College Board didn’t accept their submissions and is forcing them to take their exam again in June. 

My BTS concert was postponed, and it’s devastating, but I guess it gives me time to prepare a little bit more for it. It was supposed to be my early birthday present and a de-stressor after APs…but here we are on my 17th birthday with no one but my sister to play Just Dance with, and no post-concert depression to endure. The couch is now my best friend, along with Tik Tok, and I no longer have the patience to watch the kdramas and anime episodes that I always wanted to watch during the school year but never had time for viewing.  

Despite all of the time on our hands, I’m scared that I may not come out of this with any new skills. Whatever I do now is an outcome for the future, so my present self should toughen up a bit and take the time to change for the better. There’s plenty of time to contemplate our existence, beliefs, opinions, work ethic, organization, and there’s so much out there. Maybe I can consider “finding who I am” a skill? 

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that I shouldn’t be afraid to give some time to myself. Sit back and relax, achieve some personal goals, and be healthy during these times of crisis. After quarantine, we should want to come out being our best selves, because we worked through it to be that way. I’ve had an epiphany recently, and frankly, after 75 days of nothing, I can finally say I started to figure out who I want to be and developed a motivation to show the world what I’ve got. Yeah, I may struggle, but that pain will only be momentary. If I push forward, the feeling that I’ve accomplished something that wasn’t curriculum-based will feel amazing. 

I am the only one responsible for my future, so I might as well start now. The only time I’ll look back is to see how far I’ve come.