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Satire: Spring Break or Resolutions Broke?

Satire: Spring Break or Resolutions Broke?

Sanjida Chowdhury

April 1, 2020

Spring is blooming and resolutions are wilting. The unattainable goals we annually set only increase our tendencies to drop them as soon as the next season rolls around. A week into your new quarantine lifestyle — forced to “spring clean” purely out of boredom — you will be sure to recognize...

Satire: Teachers Take Pride in Student’s Average Intelligence

Satire: Teachers Take Pride in Student's Average Intelligence

Jessica Hsu

April 1, 2020

Legend has it that in the history of Brentwood High School, an individual with an intellect nowhere near Einstein’s once roamed these very halls. His completely normal appearance always accompanied the familiar ringing of the warning bell symbolizing the start of the first period. Immediately, sounds...

Satire: School Cafeteria to Become Food Mecca

Satire: School Cafeteria to Become Food Mecca

Virginia Ayala

April 1, 2020

 Are you tired of plain, old, watery veggies? How about that chicken that’s still pink on the inside? Say no more! Soon we will be having fast food and Cubanita for lunch every day of the school week. Starting this summer, with plans to be finished by the fall, the school will be remodeling the c...

Satire: Time Well Spent

Late word on clocks flying by to illustrate being tardy, overdue or behind schedule and the need to hurry or rush to catch up

Kelly Campos, Staff Writer

April 1, 2020

“Four minutes is more than enough time.” You’ve heard it all before, but it’s true! Teachers are right in saying that it’s possible to walk from one end of the Ross building all the way to the other end of Sonderling within that time. Just ask any of the always-schedule-abiding adults, like Mr. Teacherman, wh...

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