*This article is a satire and is not meant to be taken literally.*
One man’s trash could be another man’s treasure, or something like that. Students at Brentwood High School have created a new system to trade items they no longer need.
This system is being introduced to teach students how to save money by reusing and recycling. The goal is to prevent overconsumption and wasteful spending.
The system consists of trading an item you have for something someone else has and no longer wants. If an agreement is made, the items are exchanged. This “agreement” consists of a handshake to close the deal.
“I’m glad we will get to use formal handshakes because that could be the start of a good friendship!” exclaimed Traina, a student who supports this new method and who probably needs more opportunities for socialization.
Trading stands will be available during any off period, lunch, and after school. Student members of the trading club will run the stands. They will also have an instructor who will teach them more about investing, economics, and how demand for certain items increases.
To trade their own items, students will need to obtain a trading license, because life is not always that easy. They will also need to be at least 16 years old and pass their math and science classes.
Students will be able to trade school-related items and materials such as pencils, notebooks, or backpacks. They’ll also be able to trade clothes, shoes, jewelry and other accessories, as long as they comply with the school’s dress code.
“People are going to be able to ask the other person to add more items to make the trade fair, or simply decline or accept the trade,” said Richy Ronald, a student who is very ready to start trading.
Students can report an unfair trade by filling out a form and submitting it to the Council of Scams. Bear in mind that students will need to provide proof that they were scammed. The Fifth Amendment, “innocent until proven guilty,” will be followed and applied to anyone named in a scam report.
Notice: Students will not be allowed to trade electronics, pets, or family members.
