Satire: Stay at home, Moms!

One mom says she has the “easiest job in the world.”

Yohana Benitez, Staff Writer

Yoselyn Velasquez decided to become a stay-at-home mom in 2014 because she didn’t want to be away from her kids. She has 2 children, one girl that is 2 years old, and one boy that is 4 years old. As you can imagine, she is pretty attached. Her entire world revolves around her children, which she calls her “pride and joy.” 

The first thing Yoselyn thinks about when she wakes up is what breakfast will be. Her four-year-old is extremely picky and barely tries new things, but Yoselyn loves the challenge. 

When it comes to cooking, she doesn’t have any interruptions – unless you’re bothered by your daughter leaving the refrigerator door open for 30 minutes. When she goes to the laundromat, she is flattered when people continuously ask her why she has to keep them quiet with iPads at such young ages. 

Getting the kids ready and into the car takes longer than she can plan for, but who wants to be on time? When she went to register for college she had to take both kids with her. The process took about two hours and she managed to cope by force-feeding them candy. 

Yoselyn says she has the “easiest” job in the world because she gets to wear her yoga pants all day and can watch her favorite shows whenever she wants. She can totally ignore the crying babies in the background. When the kids are making a mess with toys and fighting over them, or when they are throwing around slime and getting it stuck on the carpet (which is impossible to remove), she just smiles and says, “we’ll get a new carpet for the twentieth time.” 

As you can see, stay at home moms live the good life. All you have to do is make sure your kids are alive and happy.