I question sometimes, what might have happened last night, if I ended up going to your house and tried to escape with you rather than just heading home? Then I would have saved you, presumably? Would you want to be around me now? It’s just too late to imagine that now. You’re gone already. I never knew all this before, but you seem to be the love of my life, and it took a catastrophe for someone like me to realize that. I ‘ve long adored you, yet, just for sake of identity, just for sake of brand image, just for sake of our love, I have set my feelings aside. I still think of you, Elliana, and I’m going to miss you forever. There seems to be no way to convey the sorrow I feel for allowing you to slip from my palms. 

There’s a place, where I belong, and cry my troubles away. It’s called lonesome town. This is where the broken hearts stay, and the only price I must pay, is a heart full of pain and tears. This is the place I belong in. I can reminisce in our past, think about how your smile was a golden ray of sunlight on my stormy days. I think about you for one second, and I can think of a thousand reasons why it should have been me instead of you. I’m willing to sacrifice everything I have, to be reunited with you, even for one minute. The things I’d do to see your hair free in the wind, shining in the sun, and hear your laugh one more time. That laugh. I yearn to hear a second of that precious laugh. How could I have never realized the goddess that was in love with me, was meant to be mine. 

When I’m alone at night, in the dark, looking up at the ceiling, the stars crumble, the moon parts into pieces, the world has this silence that is deafening every time I replay the moments of fear and anguish you had on your face. How foolish of you to believe a priest and a witch could be in love, yet how foolish of me for not realizing sooner, that I could have saved you. Every night I silently weep to God, begging him to take my life away, because the thought of being without you is unbearable. The thought of living with this guilt, eats me alive every time I pass your house. I would repent one thousand times to any god, I will memorize any prayer, I will sing any song, if it means I could be with you once more and save you. The day at court when you were put on trial, I saw how you smiled, how you lightened up the room with your soft, kind words. The way the sun rested upon your pale skin, was simply breathtaking. If only you knew what was meant to happen. But as soon as you saw a glimpse of my eyes and realized what was going on, the only thing you did was fill your beautiful eyes with tears. It was quite a sight for sore eyes, and I’ll never forget the moment the light from you disappeared that day. 

A few moments later, you’re tied up, drenched in oil. All I wished I could do is look away, yet I was paralyzed, locking eyes with the love of my life, realizing, my happiness is about to vanish right in front of me. The way you screamed that I’m a traitor and the way you hopelessly looked into my eyes, will forever echo in my memories. When will I be old enough to understand the cruelty of this world? A few hours later, the world was gray, the birds no longer sang, the sun hid in fear of what horrible person I became. The world stopped the second you died…