The slow walker detector is the newest piece of technology at Brentwood High School. This detector will track a student’s pace, particularly how many miles per hour (MPH) a student is moving through the hallways.
Recently, more students have been stuck on lines for late hall passes. It is the principal’s hope that the slow walker detector will lessen the number of students who are tardy to class.
The walker works in aiding students’ speed, hall awareness and behavior in the passing periods! If a student does not move along, the nearest gym teacher will approach the student and motivate him or her to move faster.
“Transform your stroll into a stride, your leisure into your legacy. Every step forward is a step towards your best self,” said Coach Buffington Flexwell, the newest Ross gym teacher.
We asked the students what they personally thought of the change at the home of the green and white.
“I think this is totally ridiculous! Why can’t we just walk how we want to walk?” said Amble McSlotherton. “Brentwood definitely needed this detector. Do you want to guess know how many times I’ve been caught in late hall due to slow walkers!?!”
The slow walker detector is a smooth, cubic box that will be placed on top of each locker in the school to make sure we get every walker! It has a cutting-edge design, with a slick green and white lining.
In the future of Brentwood, we also will be adding speed signs in the hall to remind students to maintain an appropriate pace, and it will make it more efficient to see the slow walkers in action.
*This article is a satire and is not meant to be taken literally.*
