Please believe me when I say I meant no harm

I am not the person you think I am

You will never know who I am

I have only just discovered this person for myself

You think you have me all figured out

Like I am an open book

But really I am a locked door

I believe not all people are truly evil

There is some version of good in everyone

Even in the most heartless of villains

The girls I call my friends think I am a floozy or a tramp

And am desperately trying to seek attention

I have no idea where they are getting this assumption from

Some attention is nice I will admit that,

but I am not throwing myself on people

to try to be the only thing they see

I like myself

And before I definitely could not have said that

But I did have friends that hated themselves,

a lot of them actually…

I don’t understand adolescence

Why is it so awful?

Everyone is so insecure and

believes everyone is better than them at everything

Like they really think that this is what matters right now

Who cares?

Who cares what they do or who they are?

They are not you, are they?

And you are not them

And you have to accept this and move on

You may have never went out with someone

Well guess what?

Good for you

You are saving yourself for someone

whom you feel truly deserves you

And maybe you have fooled around a lot

Well guess what?

Good for you

You tested the waters and are trying to find out

what person you are looking to settle down with in the future

Hormones are flying and everyone claims they are in love

It is understandable that we mistake lust for love

We are just kids

We think we are attracted to a tree when

We get an unannounced arousal

People are so insecure about themselves

that they have to take it out on someone else

just to make themselves feel better

It’s so immature and just plain stupid

When you have feelings for someone that

you wanted to keep it to yourself

and shout it to the world at the same time

And it’s scary

You think if you tell them, you’ll be heartbroken and things will get awkward

But if you don’t, you will never know what might have been

And I have told my feelings

Many of times and most of the time I was rejected

And the other times I was able to experience

what it was like to be liked and to feel pretty

I could say I regretted telling them

And at the time I did

But now I realize they were jerks

And I am glad I don’t talk to them anymore

and that I didn’t let the feelings grow and grow

waiting on something that wasn’t going to happen anyway

I mean yes right now if I could choose any person to love and have no consequences for, it would be…

Well just in case they see this I am not going to say

But I know that they are the only person that I believe at least tries to understand me and where I am coming from and always manages to make my day just by being themselves

They aren’t around a lot

But I have to accept that again- adolescence sucks

And teenagers are either too busy or too free (you know what I mean)

I hope one day I’ll get to know what that is like

Might take a while though and there might be people that take my attention for a while too

The drama that takes place in high school will never truly matter in the future unless you let it eat you up inside before you are even out

High school sucks but you can learn an important thing or two from it (well besides actually learning from teachers and textbooks)

How they see you now is probably going to change in like three years

Maybe even sooner and hopefully for the better

Different people have different opinions

And maybe you have been around these people so much they all start to think alike and therefore you do too

You have been given a life to make a difference

Whether it is to invent something

Help someone

Learn something

Or just really exist

You are there for a reason

And you may not know that reason yet but you will eventually and it will change the way you see everything

It’s easy to start to like or hate people you have been around for ten years straight

And that is acceptable

But you should learn to at least tolerate them because in the end you will be the bigger person because you are beautiful