Satire: Time Well Spent

Being on time is late and being late is unacceptable.

Kelly Campos, Staff Writer

“Four minutes is more than enough time.” You’ve heard it all before, but it’s true! Teachers are right in saying that it’s possible to walk from one end of the Ross building all the way to the other end of Sonderling within that time. Just ask any of the always-schedule-abiding adults, like Mr. Teacherman, who has done it in a record twenty four seconds. Being slowed down is just a frame of mind. Once you start ignoring the other crowds of students in the halls, punctuality will come easy to you.

Class latenesses are becoming such a problem that administration is deciding to take a different approach to punishing untimeliness. Instead of late hall, students will now have to come into the brand new “late classrooms” – where they will be sat down and told to write up an essay as to why they did not make it to class within the four minutes of travel time, and plan out a strategic new route. Maps of the school will be provided and hallway density will be marked for each of the four essential minutes, all so a student can better understand how Brentwood High School traffic works, and how to make the best of it.

It is already being tested in the Freshman Center, where a handful of students that ran late to class were taken to an empty classroom to re-evaluate their time management skills. A short video was put on for the kids to learn the importance of timely attendance. The kids discussed (rather loudly) their reactions amongst themselves – they sounded like they were thoroughly enjoying the lessons!

The supervisors have reported back how successful the idea is, as they have more and more kids coming in to learn. One ninth grade teacher, Ms. Understood, happily reviewed how effective the late classrooms are, telling administrators how her students learned an important and authentic lesson about timeliness. She remarked, “They came in during the last five minutes of the period, having missed a quiz, class notes, and a group project, but seemed quite transformed by the process.” She feels that though class time was lost, it was at least spent doing something productive. 

This new method of lateness prevention is being implemented soon, and late halls will be a thing of the past. The administration of Brentwood High School agreed that late hall was a bad idea, it’s only a matter of time until something better comes around.