*This article is a satire and is not meant to be taken literally.*

Tired of having to listen about people fighting against corrupt governments? Tired of listening to woke crazy people trying to inform you about things that personally affect you? Want to just tune the world out and be ignorant? Well, do I have some good news for you! 

A newly founded technology company, with funding help from rich billionaires, will be releasing a new blinder kit made just for you. Equipped with rose colored glasses and noise blocking headphones, this kit will make sure that you can immediately block out anything that tries to force you to see the real world and ruin your mood.  

You can have it for the small price of $500 (shipping not included)! Comfort is more important to you than any money.  

“I got an early test for this, and it was amazing!” said popular social media influencer Madison Lay. “I put on the glasses and the headphones, and I was immediately soothed by sounds of the waves hitting the beach, Shirley Temple in hand, and sun beaming down on me that I completely forgot it was all fake!”  

“I thought the cost was outrageous, but after I was met with the unfortunate situation of having to listen to my friends discuss politics and having it mess up my night, I quickly pre-ordered one,” said podcaster Roe Morgan. “Can you really put a price on comfort?” 

Visit our website now so you can pre-order it and be one of the first to try it out! Your personal bubble is what keeps us going, so don’t be afraid of the scary price.